Today is the first day i am going to talk about me venturing in fostercare

I decided many years after I found out I am not able to have children that I would like to do fostercare. How does someone come to this decision you may ask? After many years of trying to have a child of my own my heart was broken. Time after Time we would time and plan to try to conceive and it just didn't happen. I decided to try to take fertility drugs and then doubled the dose and still nothing. Well I walked around hateful and angry. Angry at women that were pregnant or carrying children. Mad at myself because I wasn't woman enough myself to bring a child into this world. It took me a really long time to come to realize that I was more than just my ovaries and so I started to explore other options. Well fertitilty can cost up to 100,000 and there is no guarantee that it will come to term. I realized that passing my genes onto someone smaller than myself was'nt that important. I looked into adopting over seas and then fostercare. I decided on fostercare. I realize that these children may not stay with me that long and it will be quite an adventure but I'm willing to take the risk. Next week is when I take my first class in preparing on this journey. I will write more as I get more of a map to where this might take me. In this blog I want to go from start to finish to see what it takes to bring a child in my home and how it feels when they have to leave. They handed me a folder with tons of paperwork and questions. In these papers are questions about how I grew up, what I thought about children and then there is the fingerprinting. I AM really scared right now.